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A Question ...

How long until bedtime gets calmer?

GHR

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( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
capplor
Feb. 9th, 2009 05:28 am (UTC)
That
Is one we still keep asking.
mdlbear
Feb. 9th, 2009 05:39 am (UTC)
When they're old enough to move out?
msminlr
Feb. 9th, 2009 11:55 am (UTC)
That's what I was thinking.
spiritdance
Feb. 9th, 2009 05:42 am (UTC)
Still having issues with David at 40 months :-( (he's recently decided that sleep isn't something he needs - day or night).
victorthecook
Feb. 9th, 2009 06:32 am (UTC)
From my child-era recollections, things get much better after 9th or 10th grade. Call it age 15 or so.
msminlr
Feb. 9th, 2009 11:56 am (UTC)
Actually, that's about when the wake-up time starts getting complicated.
shsilver
Feb. 9th, 2009 01:03 pm (UTC)
For us, wakeup time got complicated by age 8.
capplor
Feb. 9th, 2009 06:34 am (UTC)
Oh, it's CALM enough here
it's just subject to these horrible "inflationary" pressures, that it gets more & more extended & more & more delayed.

--R
tarkrai
Feb. 9th, 2009 06:56 am (UTC)
The true sign that your child has become a teenager is when they realize that sleep is *pleasureable*.

So, you've got about another 10-14 years.... sorry. :(
rmeidaking
Feb. 9th, 2009 11:30 am (UTC)
Mine calmed down in mid-toddlerhood. You have to remember that I'm the World's Meanest Mom, though. You need to figure out Who's In Charge Here, and what the rules are, and stick to them.
min8ive
Feb. 9th, 2009 12:59 pm (UTC)
You need to figure out Who's In Charge Here, and what the rules are, and stick to them.

That's the key, although you don't have to be mean. :-)

Get them into a routine, and make it something to look forward to. "My time with Mommy, where she reads my favorite book to me? Let's go!"

Transitions are hard for kids, so give them repeated warnings that it's coming.
rmeidaking
Feb. 9th, 2009 02:00 pm (UTC)
"...although you don't have to be mean. :-)"

Maybe not, but I found that it helped to think that way. The kid would say, "You're mean!" and I'd just reply, "Yeah, I am; get used to it. I'm The World's Meanest Mom." Sorry, kid, name-calling doesn't work around here. Go back to bed (or eat your food, or clean up your toys, or whatever). The kid figures out pretty fast that you're not actually *mean*, but that you do mean what you say. Everyone's a lot happier once that's established.

capplor
Feb. 9th, 2009 07:09 pm (UTC)
A friend of mine
used to tell her boys, "I stay up late at night thinking of new and better ways to be mean to you"

I think the key is that "mean" can't be a word that they manipulate you with.
sourceoftrouble
Feb. 9th, 2009 08:25 pm (UTC)
My line was "I'm mean, rotten, nasty and ornery". I told others that I'd been told I had to have an even disposition after I had kids, and I found it easier to be "mean, rotten, nasty and ornery" than always sweet and nice (and you may notice it spilled over into other areas of my life).

Told the grocer's son that (at Pesches). "You are not." Told him to ask my daughter next time she came in. He did. She concurred.
catalana
Feb. 9th, 2009 01:28 pm (UTC)
My parents pushed my bed time back in grade school for every report card I brought home with straight As. Eventually they let me set my own bed time. I then started going to bed earlier, as I was no longer proving anything by staying up later. You might try it at some point (though obviously this isn't going to help you for another 6 or 7 years, sadly.)
pheltzer
Feb. 9th, 2009 02:07 pm (UTC)
It depends on when you start drinking and in what quantity....
naomilynne
Feb. 9th, 2009 02:27 pm (UTC)
Shaina puts herself to bed quite nicely now. So figure -- about 15 years.
drzarron
Feb. 9th, 2009 02:27 pm (UTC)
How long will they be living in your house?

Ours is 12 and while its not hard to get to started to bed, she has a lot more procedures before she actually gets there.
filkerdave
Feb. 9th, 2009 03:11 pm (UTC)
Let's see...ElderSon will be 18 in June...
markbernstein
Feb. 9th, 2009 03:44 pm (UTC)
This may get me yelled at by those with different parenting philosophies. When Allen was about a year and a half old, and we were sure he was old enough to understand what bedtime meant, we stopped giving in. We'd put him in bed, tell him it was time to go to sleep, walk away, close the door, and not go back in, period. We had to endure a week of hell, as he screamed and cried himself to exhaustion every night. After that week, when he was finally convinced that he wasn't going to get his way, he started going to bed without problems.

I realize that having a second child in the house makes this harder. I don't know what to tell you about that.
daddy_guido
Feb. 9th, 2009 05:17 pm (UTC)
Define "calmer".

I can GET them into bed just fine.
read a book, sing a song, pat them ont he head, all good.
That was from 2-4 yrs.

The 7-year old last night extended her post-book cuddle by initiating a discussion to examine the difference between "Infer" and "Imply".

Last week it was a request for a (further) explanation of dimensions 1-5, and an explanation of a Tesseract.

Previous bedtime conversations have included the relative merits between law school and medical school, pricing methodologies for the dolls going to market from her imaginary doll factory, the benefits of contract labor vs. direct employment.....

WTF happened to "what are stars", or "why is the sky blue"?

daisy_knotwise
Feb. 9th, 2009 05:56 pm (UTC)
And that is why I love your kids.

GHR
capplor
Feb. 9th, 2009 06:17 pm (UTC)
Gee, we get discussions on the relative merits of the Golden Rule as applies to bullies, & how long would a horse-snake be.

Can we trade? Just for a week?
daddy_guido
Feb. 9th, 2009 06:50 pm (UTC)
Depends - is that a genetic cross betweena snake and a horse, or a Snake that EATS horses?
judifilksign
Feb. 9th, 2009 11:56 pm (UTC)
I have a nine year old that puts himself to bed when he feels tired, at reasonable times, and always has, even at age 2. The eleven year old goes to bed when told without complaint.

Sparkle... we can usually get her to sleep, mostly. She pops out of bed 2-5 times nightly. I confess I count it lucky she still comes in to bother us rather than amusing herself unsupervised in the middle of the night while we sleep. At least, when I am awake and rational. Getting awakened, it's harder to maintain composure.

I always want more sleep, myself. I grok your frustration.
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )